Unfailing Love

Unfailing Love

an original poem, by Kim Merritt

Undeserving and unworthy, I come before Your throne.

In my anguish and desperation, I feel so all alone.

Reaching toward the heavens, I lift my frantic cry.

My hopes and dreams and all my plans, all that I held high,

It all seems very distant now,

So before my Lord, I bow.

His voice echoes in my mind, "Beloved, be not afraid.

Draw near to Me, Precious Child, let your worry fade.

I chose you before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless in My sight.

Rest in my presence.  The Lord, your God, Himself will fight.

I will never leave you nor forsake you.  Be courageous and be strong!

My unfailing love indwells you, to almighty God, you belong."

Unpacking Psalms 36:7

How priceless is your unfailing love!  Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings.  Psalms 36:7

It is week 2 in the A Confident Heart online Bible study.  Today I am "unpacking" our memory verse for the week.  This verse is really speaking to me already!  It is so good to know that God's unfailing love is our perfect shelter!


How priceless:  Priceless means having a value beyond all price; invaluable.  Priceless can also mean delightfully amusing or absurd.  Some synonyms for "priceless" are: irreplaceable, precious, costly, and incomparable.

is your unfailing love:  God's love for us is unfailing.  His love is endless and completely dependable. 

Both high and low among men:  God loves us ALL!  Our position in life doesn't matter.  God loves us no matter how much stuff we have, no matter what our job is, no matter what we look like, no matter what the world thinks of us.  We are His precious creation and he loves all of us perfectly.

find refuge:  In God's love we are safe.  We can rest in God's love and know that we are sheltered from all that life throws at us.

in the shadow of your wings:  God gathers us to Himself like a mother bird gathers her babies to herself.  He shelters us and draws us to Him especially when the world's storms threaten our peace.

Perfect Love

Perfect love drives out fear.  Wow!  That statement fills me with awe.  God loves us and in fact, God is love.  I could meditate on these verses all day and still be amazed at God's love for us.  Here I am, a person amongst billions of others here on this planet, and God knows me.  He loves me.  I didn't earn His love.  Actually, I've sinned against God more than I care to admit.  I fall short of the perfect example that Jesus set for me every day.  I don't deserve His love, but He gives it freely.  He loves me in spite of my shortfalls, flaws, and sin.

Many of us search for perfect love in other people or in the things we accumulate.  Some of us are even blessed to have close friendships, wonderful marriages, and sweet obedient children.  But friends sometimes wound us, spouses sometimes hurt us, and children sometimes defy us.  Even our best earthly relationships will never truly be perfect.  People aren't perfect - we fall short.

Thankfully, we can choose to forgive the thoughtless actions of others.  And I certain hope that my friends, husband, and children will forgive me when I fall short.  We should strive to forgive others as God forgives us.  When we choose to forgive and to see other people as God sees them, we get a glimpse of what perfect love looks like.  

God loves us so much that He sent his only Son to die on a cross.  Jesus, who had no sin, died for me and for you, so that we could be forgiven and spent eternity in Heaven.  That is perfect love!

Doubt Whispers

Jeremiah 17:7  But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.

I grew up in a loving home with wonderful parents.  I felt very secure growing up.  My parents encouraged me in my musical pursuits and I became a confident musician and person.  I was blessed to grow up in such an environment.

It was later that I began to doubt myself.  After I was married for about a year, I had a miscarriage.  I was very disappointed and afraid of what this might mean for my future.  Would I ever have a family?  At the time of this first miscarriage, my husband was realizing that his newly started career was not what he wanted from life.  He left his job and went back to school to get a degree in education.  So, I went looking for a job.  I was blessed with a wonderful opportunity to teach music at a local elementary and middle school.  I was offered the job just ten days before the start of the new school year.  It was a wonderful answer to prayer.  My husband would be able to pursue a new path; I would be able to financially support us while he was in school.

After life settled down a bit, we decided to try again to grow our family.  Soon I was pregnant and very excited.  I went for an ultrasound to determine how far along I was.  It was the look on the ultrasound tech's face that told me that something was wrong.  She left the room and returned a few minutes later with the doctor.  The results were "not normal."  Not normal...what does that even mean?  I didn't know what to think or what to expect, but the doctor explained that I would probably experience another miscarriage within a week's time.  The very next night I found myself in a hospital emergency room, weak and in pain, and no longer pregnant.

I began to doubt that I would ever be a mom.  But worse, I began to feel that maybe I wasn't good enough to be a mom.  Six months later another miscarriage brought me to a crossroads.  Would I turn my back on God, or would I trust in Him, even through the hardest of times.  I remember praying that God would help me to accept His will - whatever it may be.  If I was to be a mom, or if I was to remain without children, I would use my life to glorify Him.  Whatever His plans were, I would choose to rejoice in my blessings.

The very next month I was pregnant again.  My beautiful Anna was born and over the next few years I would have another daughter and a son.  It's hard to remember a time now when I didn't have kids.  Life is busy and sometimes a little crazy.  Those doubt whispers continue to call to me, even now.  I doubt my parenting abilities.  I wonder if I'm doing the right things for my kids.  I worry and fret about their future.  I need to put my trust in God.  He still has a plan for my life and he has a plan for each of my children.  When I put my trust in Him, I can be confident that He is working in my life.  I can let go of my worries and rest in His peace.  It isn't always easy to let go and trust God; it's something I have to practice every day.  And as is the case with most things, trusting in God gets easier with practice.

Perspective

Matthew 11:28-30  "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Have you ever had a day that started badly and just got worse?  Me too!

I didn't sleep well.  The kids don't want to get up and ready for school.  You notice an "unauthorized" charge on your credit card statement.  The school telephones to let you know that your child called another child a name.  When your little ones do come home from school, they are fighting each other.

These kinds of days can cause you to lose proper perspective and the peace that we all crave.  When everything goes wrong it's hard to keep it together.  Believe me, I know all too well how hard it is.  So what do you do?

Begin each day with the Lord.  I need to begin my day with prayer.  Thank God for this new day.  Start the day with gratitude.  Review my memory verse and think about how to apply God's word to this new day.

What about those grumpy kids?  I can't force my children to be sweet and perky every morning.  All I can do is give them my best every morning.  When I wake them, I can pray over them and let them know that I love them.  I can remind them that they are loved by our great God.  When they can't find the right outfit or they accidentally spit on each other while trying to brush their teeth all at the same time, it might seem like the end of the world... but it's not!  Keep your cool, Mom, and remember they are just kids.  They need your guidance.  Continue to pray over them throughout the morning and throughout the day.  Even if they remain grumpy, you can keep your peace by keeping God close.

Life can be frustrating, but staying in the presence of the Lord throughout the day will help you to keep the proper perspective.  Lay your burdens at the feet of Jesus.  Trust Him to care for you.  Read and study His word.  Hide it in your heart.  Trust God; He has a plan even when it seems to you that the world is falling apart.  You are loved by a great God!

Excited Newbie

I am so excited to start the A Confident Heart online Bible study.  This is my first time working through an online Bible study with Proverbs 31 Ministries.  This is a crazy time in life for me, and I'm looking forward to sharing some peaceful moments with others who are drawing closer to God.

New Beginnings

Jeremiah 29:11  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, " plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

This school year marked several new beginnings for our family.  My oldest daughter started middle school.  My husband stepped into a new position at work to temporarily fill in for his boss who was injured in a serious car accident.  And I decided to leave the workforce, again, to be at home with my family.

Yes, I left the workforce... again.  I graduated from college 18 years ago with a Music Education degree.  I have wanted to be a teacher from the time I started kindergarten.  So, when I graduated from college, I pursued a career in education.  I was hired to teach general music in a local elementary and middle school.  At the end of my fourth year of teaching I delivered my first child.  I made the decision to stay at home with my little girl and over the next few years I was blessed with two more children.  By this time I was plenty busy!  I remained at home with my beautiful babies for ten years.

When my youngest child entered the first grade, I went back to work as an aide at my children's elementary school.  I enjoyed this work very much and I felt blessed to be able to be close to my own children during the day.

Unfortunately,  life has a way of changing just when you start to feel comfortable.  My oldest daughter, Anna, is autistic.  Fifth grade was difficult for her and as the school year progressed, Anna regressed into disruptive behaviors and daily meltdowns.  Life became more stressful for everyone at our house.  By the time the month of May rolled around, we were all counting down the days until summer break.   And as the next school year approached, I knew that our family could not face that kind of stress again.

So I'm here at home.  I have found that I really did need this time to recharge so that I can be ready for whatever the day may bring.  It wasn't just Anna's meltdowns that caused our family stress.  I've come to see that my husband and all three of my children take their cues from me!  When I start "losing it" everything falls apart.  When I'm able to remain calm, my children feel secure, no matter what else may be going on.  I know that being home is where I need to be right now.  Where will I be next year, or in ten years?  I don't know yet, and I'm not going to let that become something else to be stressed out about.  I just want to be open to whatever God has in store for me.  I don't know what's next for me, but I know that God has a plan for my life.  I want to be ready each day to embrace His plan.